A MAN WITHOUT A HEART

Written for POWA
By Makgato Machaba

I have heard many times about violence that strikes upon this world, but I have never seen in my own eyes the brutal violence that leaves a stripe of marks and hollow pain inside the heart of a human for the entire existence like the violence between a husband and a wife, a torture to the mind, spirit, body and life. When a husband take verbal abuse to emotional and physical abuse, the home of that man turns into a house of devil.

Have you ever seen children who regards to their father as Lord, they see their father as someone who comes home and make rules, they regard him as a master, they are all scared of him. The only time they can exchange words with that man is when he makes rules, are you going to be a proud father? I have seen this happening, when a man takes a step in the corridor coming through to the sitting room, his children shut up and all vibrate in nerves and breathing like they read out their last note on this earth.

I have seen it, a woman who fails to control her emotions, her daughter will ask her mom, it is that time of the month, don't you have pennies spared so I can buy pads? And she burst into tears. A home where love does not exist. Rules took over and the man call himself a train, when the head turns, the tale follows, he will say this with stupid and empty pride, the ego of unsophisticated mind.

Do we need education to teach people how to behave and love their family, how are you going to interact with the world when you left your family in the dark, believe me I have heard many stories, but today I seen that this is a culture of many south african men, they think having a family is a power to control and punish the people they claim to love. What is love without happiness? Is that love indeed? I have seen it with my own eyes, as much as I hatred it. I have had scars from emotions that I couldn't figure its transition and occurrences.

I have had many nights without sleeps, I was tossing and turning, wishing the women of this world gets peace. They is a time where a mind and a body need to rest, not on this women, she is digesting her children's future in fear. She is forced to do everything. She got scars from making love, that's why she thinks love is never enough. She hope the husband is a provider and she got married to suffer the consequences. I have seen it with my own eyes. They lost hope. I know of a women who don't believe that life can get fun. She gave up and now she is living like a slave, her duty is to do her husband laundry, sell fruits to make a small money for her kids to survive and submit to her husband.

When things goes wrong, she is the victim, what are you doing to this kids, when you appear in the kitchen with scars mom, do you know the pain I bear? The resentment and anger. The hate and confusion. Why don't we leave this place mom? Kids don't get it. Once she is attached she is buried. The husband beat her up and later make up for that. She is now used to it. She thinks it is a way of life. And most importantly, she sacrifices for you. She rather die but the little you get, keeps her submitting back to him.

Sometimes I wonder, if I was a husband and I turn around in my bed and I found my wife crying painfully, and when I ask her what is wrong she says, please change and treat me right, will that not make me wonder? Am I also like this? I have seen the worst, and then it is getting deep. A woman is strong, she is capable of fixing things, but not with this kind of man, he comes back 2 pm in the morning and demand sex. Beat up the poor woman and how come she never reported him for assaults, or even rape? What is wrong with this house? The ego of a man who is stupid drives him nuts. He is capable of telling his own children that they just want to eat his money. His blood!

I have seen it, and when it happens I have wished that they was an institution where we can rehabilitate this relationships, punish this kind of men and teach them a way of life. Happiness is everything. Count using your fingers I bet you will lose count. Which man do you know, that loves his family wholeheartedly and happens to be poor? Few I thought like that. This scumbags that abuses and dessert their family are pale, they are torn like an old pair of pants. They think they enjoys life, but as soon as they run out of power and their woman take them back. They feel what was suppose to be a life. When a man lived a life worth living, he dedicated his family to everything that he is doing.

Who do you think you are, you don't even know what your first born likes in this world, you don't know you wife's birthday. It is saddening, when I saw a boy with tears running down his face looking across the road wishing he was in a family that was eating in a nearby restaurant with laughter and happiness...he blink several times to control his tears, and listen to his father, the ruler shouting at him in public, calling him a fool.

What do we do with such men? Abusing innocent souls..I am not done with this, not until I tell you about michael, a guy I met at school and when he had problems with his fees, he called his dad, listen to what this moron said, you don't have to call me because I am the one who wakes up in the morning, not you damnit. Stop calling me for money. What was I suppose to do when he burst into tears. He couldn't hold them back that was a punchline from his dad, no I mean his father.

I have seen the worst. When a man abuse his family, his house turns into a ghost. I plead in the prayers and hymn the different kind of solo silent singing in church trying to convince my saviour to protect this poor women. What have they done to deserve this.

I have seen the radical transformation of a child who grew up in this house, that child is mentally disturbed. The way he or she thinks is always on the ultimatum channel of the instinct of abuse, the thoughts are bisected by the negative stigma that is imposed from how he or she was raised. Teach your children to love, because it is only through love that we made it this far. Words cannot explain the desperate hunger of this petite message, they is no better emotion to revert this message into influencing this imperial men to change.

Who wrote ethic of life, nicodimas time of timeless hopes could not find the answers that can give this poor woman a sleep. Not even of Marxism and lennin's, not even in the books of life and those that speaks anthropologist and ways of conforming the best behaviours.

Not in a myth or a mars one revolution, in the books of Nasa and world institutions of criminology could assist. We stay humble on the edge of our hopes hoping one day we will find a solution.

But it is way too deep. I hate to see a women abused. A real men knows better. Let us all work together and be against all abuse of human in relationships, and mostly women. It is not in the scriptures of bible, not in the ancient eras, it cannot be mentioned on the podium of world speakers and icons of of this universe. If the message failed in billions years, timeframe cannot define its success, therefore we learn new things everyday, and in this writing, no words should determine any kind of negativity towards its success.

Stop abuse.and stay winning. We all have a heart.