I CAN BET, BLACK PEOPLE'S FUNERALS HAVE A BETTER DRAMA AND ENTARTAINMENT THAN ALL SOUTH AFRICAN MEDIA COMBINED

I normally wakes up at 6 o'clock when I'm home, I mean Limpopo, hellooo, Daaa Jouburg is never a home, so I hear the sound of a hairdryer in 5 o'clock from my mothers bedroom, I woke up,reach for my underwear cause I sleep naked yes, and I heard straight there, I mean mommas bedroom, one knock and she opened, my mom is loud, if she is not yelling she is probably screaming, she was complaining for a tiniest thing, you couldn't believe it, I mean how can she yell that much because I forgot a plastic chair outside, anyway, wrap that up, that's not what you here for, back to you, she had her two piece on the bed ironed and her foschini chivony tee hanging on the drawer, I asked, where you going, she said "I'm late, funeral, and you should come"

There we go, I'm running in the corridor with my mom on my back as if we are a doctor and a nurse rushing to get some oxygen ready in the ICU. She was fast enough to prepare my clothes, I didn't even believe it because at 5H45 we was already in the funeral. How I wish all my friends was there, I didn't build no castles from the breeze of that air I pardoned myself and inhaled as respectful as possible because my gran always told me 'the grieving people should be shown empathy'.

Me and mom split up and I was just standing like a lost sheep, then I started comparing, yes I went to the white people's funerals but I didn't see what I saw there, black people's funeral are all about fun, the moment me and mom split up things got real, let's make this a procedure, don't make me skip a word here, I know you only see white people's funerals on TV, they are so formal, everything is about time there, from 7 am in the morning at 10 they wrap up everything. Not black people, first of all you have that one crazy aunt who cries like they is a penis in her vagina, she jump up and hit the floor so bad you will see every guy imagining her naked on the bed, you know how guys are, dogs indeed. But hey, fun is all that you will experience, did I tell you what happen when they call people who will reads out the program, they make the whole thing funny by acting serious, a cremation service will intrigue you, as you sits in a tent, some woman are in the backyards preparing tea, priests from different churches fighting to represent themselves better and leave a good image for their church also.

Black funerals are fun, at my back they was two ladies and the other one complained that she is about to go on her peez, and she didn't have a pads, and to make that situation worse she didn't have her panties on, I was annoyed felt like intervening but I contained myself, they was this neighbour, a lady, she looked exactly like fheli from muvhango, she had that "I might be involved in her death face" but crying like she lost a daughter. No one attended her, she probably fainted like 5 times.

Scones makes a black people's funeral complete, and what bi like about it, you drink tea and eat them, and after you done with the burial, you go back to eat the porridge and rice, I tell you, nothing beats this feeling.

at the grave you will now see a complete movie, that's where all happens, let's talk about woman's dresses and hats, you will feel like you in a circus, you will see a real bucket hat, ya'll don't understand the version of bucket hat I'm on about, black auntie's and sisters take a 9 kg bucket, puts it on their heads and wrap it with a towel, you will think a person is crippled I tell you, you can't hold back the giggles. One lady fell from the weight of the bucket and pressure of heels and she woke up at hospital. This is more like telling you how mark shuttleworth dick was soft when he stepped on the moon for the first time, you will need me to explain until 165326569 paragraph, but here goes nothing, you now get what I mean.

Lemme leave you with this picture, have you realised, our funerals are now made of this parts, we go there to drink tea, eat food, make a mini after tears of joy , which is more like an after party, and the we have a get together until the following day, so its like when someone passes on is now a privilege in the family to do a gathering and parties isn't it? Some will even bang pleasure's wedding songs "dia raya ditonki tse" those donkeys can kick..indeed, being black is a blessing. We have a way of making fun out of everything. We creates culture and tradition every time with every situation.