LIMPOPO WEDDING ARE MORE LIKE A CIRCUS DIRECTED BY JIM CAREY

I attended a wedding over the weekend, believe me, our pedi culture is slowly fading, I was waiting to see the most intriguing moments, the impact and most wow seconds of amazement while clock tick in intervals. A few group of girls await at the gate talking like somebody just died and pointing fingers at the elders and tent that was not even properly set, I smelled food from distance and saw many traditional outfit in silk fabrics.

I was waiting to sing makoti and step with phelesi's, but eish, I saw a gate opening and this tall bluffy guys came in followed by two boys carrying 2 weak speakers. I all of a sudden thought of mary jane and eifel hoek, things I see after I blew my hooker. So I rasped and stood like a pastor folding my hands waiting to see the movement of those guys until the end, then a small puffy guy came out running in the house with a long electric cord and started plugging those speakers, I was not in Ga mphahlele, I was not waiting for this wedding to turn into a circus where we watch a bride and a groom stepping for pleasures's loudeness and crazy limpopo songs, I hallucinate and follow the crowd that was moving to the back to open up a space for the DJ to start operating.

At the backyards was 8 woman with big breasts, I almost got hard because I stared at one of them and imagined her naked, I sat down on a brick faster before my erection could show up, all of them looked chubby and extremely tired of life, but worn smiles of a wedding day vibe. They gave me that smile, I winkled back and act like stevie wonder. "I ddnt see nothing" atti
They was cooking a porridge and beaf meat, they told me right away that they don't offer salads, as if they are running a company, we do not offer salads sir, I laughed and started doubting, even though I ddnt want my mind to be negative and not at once. The other lady coughed, I could tell that it was a sign of 'hey boy I wanna talk now I'm clearing my voice, well I was right, she said. " "Mohlanka" boy. " nke o mpiletse ngwalenyana o mongwe kamoo bare ke sampi" can you call me a certain girl by the name of sampi? I just said I'll do it.

I went to back to the tent and ask for sampi, when the girls shouted "sampi owabitswa" sampi you been summoned, this thick bad yellow boned and bad bad bad girl rose and flattened her hair looking at me as if she is shooting an AD.

I stood there watching her like I was leonardo Di Caprio on that scene where he had to go get an object that will untie rose to save her from drowning. As she walks like Halle Berry from Catwalk, I heard a bang, music started playing "abuti, sa nswara moo" hey brother, don't grab me there.

I felt my knee caps are re-attaching to my knees and my nose building that tentacles feeling like as if I was a china girl raped by 40 american gangsters that toughie oughie movie. I sat down and asked a girl who was passing by to direct me to the tap, as I stood up, three men came sneaking in a tents and asked us to sit calm because the groom and the bride has arrived and the pastor will start in a moment. But I thought something was going to be done in a tent, it was dusty and the decoration got tired of kids jumping up and down, nothing was ready in that tent.

They came in stepping, they was just like Bafana Bafana defending as if they scored, they looked tired but willing to continue, they was like our government, promising but not delivering. I had a mini prayer in my heart, I said lord please, do not let this crowd zoom extra in for the shoes of the groom, if you still remember back in the days when we use to eat apple side by side before we can start eating it properly, the grooms shoes looks like the structure of the apple after it is eaten side by side, his trouser was that light trousers you normally see them in small street in johannesburg sold by Nigerians, the front of the trouser wasn't well placed people could see the package or let me say the revelation of his manhood.when he kicks back as he was stepping people kept saying whoooa, because his penis could be seen clearly even though is inside the trouser, he worn the last fake of silk fabric. The hands of his suits was a bit torn already, in his wedding day.

Tjooo, the bride was better she just looked like a doll, a latin doll that was manufactured in china but packed in zimbabwe and exported to malawi for further designing.

When the pastor announced that the groom and bride should kiss, the groom became hard in front of the crowd, since his trouser was not fitted well, you could see a hard erection from him coming out of the suits pointing at his wives thighs, and a mini black wetter spot also reflected from his trouser. He tried bending backwards to hide the erection but it was a little bit too late, he had a long lazy penis, but slimy one.

I ddnt wanna mention in full that they ddnt wear rings, their only excuse was that, the groom hit his finger during the week fixing a ceiling so he will rather wear it later, the pastor said can't we atleast view the rings, and we where denied with, "they are in the car" excuse.

They said they wanted 1 million before the cake will be bought out and the neighbours ddnt buy that shit, they believed a cake was not even bought.

They ddnt have a matching pieces of dresses like the ordinary wedding, their excuse was that, we wanted to be unique.

This was the most scaring wedding I ever attended, it gave me mini heart attacks every moment they moved to the other phase..yooo

So after the wedding I found that precious girl again, I bump into her going to a spaza to buy some airtime, I asked her right away if she don't wanna hang with me some time and get to know me better, she was so so into me nothing could hold her, beside I puts on my one million perfume on, I worn in my sliver chain with 3 carrats of fake jozi Gold in it and my swag was on point, with that gaddafi cuts, it sits well on me, I look like yea I can fuck you soul off when I'm like that, girls can't resist me, they see that wildness in me. She ended up under my shoulders telling me how her ex mistreated her, you know villages, we ended up in a mini bush where its all quiet and still, I kissed that sampie bitch till she couldn't resist nothing, you cannot believe it but she started moaning before she could even touch my precious hammer, she got the booty and pussy was tight enough that while I tried to slip my fingers in she jumped and hiss its a lil painful. I kissed her and pulled of my tee on the ground relaxing her back there, I took off my trouser and lord knows I ddnt wanna use gloves, I wanted to fuck that girls mind off, she was tight enough.

I bended over towards her and kisses her until her panties was soaking wet, she asked me, noo noo not asking she begged me to start boinking her because she stressed out that she cannot hold it anymore, breathing heavily and calling me fuck me stanger, I liked that I could feel my dick strecthing towards the end of its last bit of stretched erection in my undies, I pulled them off and reached towards her V. All of a sudden they was light in that place as I look back with my shit out a man shout...................

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